It's Good to be Home?

So, it's finally winter break and I'm home. I should be happy and relaxed, right? I have no school work to worry about, I'll be in DC next semester and I finally have an internship; I should just be enjoying this supposed magical time of year. Yet, I find myself wondering if I'm actually happy at home. I should be hanging out with old friends and laughing merrily with my family. But for the past two nights, I have watched online TV and season 1 of Mad Men from Blockbuster alone in my room. Maybe I'm just not used to being alone, or maybe I just don't like not having a routine, but I don't feel comfortable. I feel like I'm staying in a hotel... no matter how homey or comfortable a hotel room tries to be, it's never take-a-deep-breath-and-smile-because-you-know-you're-home feeling. I feel like I'm creeping around trying not to disturb anyone or any delicate relationships or routines. I spent yesterday feeling uncomfortable and awkward as if I were a spectator in my own life. I was emotional and numb at the same time and I spent an hour wasting precious, expensive, gas driving with no destination in an attempt to clear my head and all I did was cloud it. I'm making big deals out of nothings and I'm frankly, just off.

I wonder if this feeling will go away. I felt like this over Thanksgiving, and it didn't really actually go away. But I'm hoping it will because I'm home for a longer period of time and I don't have finals and other work looming in the back of my mind. Maybe I'm just over thinking things. I probably sound really stupid. I should just go to bed.