Life is a struggle

I don't know what's wrong with me, but there's definitely something wrong, I can feel it. I don't feel like myself. I'm struggling to find happiness in the things and people I love. I've been bitchy–very bitchy– to everyone around me, and I feel no remorse. I'm having the hardest time coming to terms with a confusing change in my life. I blame myself for things that aren't necessarily my fault. I feel like everything I do and say is being judged or taken the wrong way. I can't explain myself. There just is no explanation. I just want people's perceptions of me to be different. I don't want to keep explaining my choices, values, and decisions. I want people to stop forcing their opinions on me and just let me be.

I want to be someone new. I want to change. Sometimes, I think about what would happen if I just disappeared. Would anyone notice? Would anyone care?